


Pepper Potts, PR Manager to the Gods

by Reflected_Skies



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 15:34:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14405133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reflected_Skies/pseuds/Reflected_Skies
Summary: The Asgardians have arrived on Earth. Tony asks Pepper to teach Thor and Loki how to deal with politicians and the press.





	Pepper Potts, PR Manager to the Gods

**Author's Note:**

> I'm ignoring Ragnorok's post-credit scenes. There's no scary ship and everyone arrives safely on Earth.

The governments of Earth were not particularly welcoming when the Asgardians arrived, but they permitted them to land in a sparsely populated area in middle America while they discussed their options. Thor insisted, against the advice of all of his counselors, on being honest with their hosts, which is why, in spite of a number of suggestions that all amounted to “don’t let them find out that Loki is here”, Loki accompanied Thor on his second meeting with the representatives of Earth.

It did not go well.

Loki may have been able to pull it off. Even with SHIELD’s files released to the public, there was not a lot known about Loki. Thor had never shared much information, his role in the attack in New Mexico was uncertain, the Chitauri were dead, and every person working with Loki had been too mind controlled to pay much attention to Loki himself. When Thor had returned to Earth with the news of Loki’s death, SHIELD had marked his file “DECEASED” and moved on. Without his armor and helmet, Loki could go unrecognized by most of Earth’s population. If Tony Stark had not annoyed his way onto the welcoming committee, and if he had not shouted a warning before Loki could seal his mouth shut, and if Thor had not been so honest, Loki could have convinced everyone that this was his first time on Earth.

Thor’s honesty did not help negotiations, although he was probably right that hiding Loki’s presence now would only make things worse later.

In spite of the world leaders’ distrust, the refugees were allowed to stay. The arguments for this decision were basically: 1) there’s bad stuff coming and these guys are tough, we want them between us and everything else; 2) we want their knowledge and technology; and 3) we’re not sure we can beat them so let’s cooperate until we have a better idea of what they can do.

Where the Asgardians would live was still up for debate, but for now they were settled at their landing site, welcoming any who came to meet them while making certain that no Midgardians got too close to any alien technology. All the spies managed to learn was that Heimdall was scary.

Thor, with Loki in tow, moved between Washington D.C., the U.N. building in New York, and the camp. There was talk about holding the meetings in other countries, but Thor insisted on staying near his people. He suggested Loki, his brother and heir, attend the meetings in his stead, but (nearly) everyone decided the United States were the best place for the talks after all.

Tony put himself in charge of giving Thor a crash course in Earth politics and public relations, insisting that Thor’s previous visits to Earth had not prepared him for any of this. Not incidentally, Tony also used these meetings to learn about alien technology and the threats facing Earth. Loki was invited because Tony felt better when Loki was somewhere he could see him, although Tony did relax after Bruce tepidly supported Thor’s insistence that Loki would not harm anyone unless they threatened Asgard (“Or really annoy me”) and temper his reaction to non-lethal levels (“I could turn them into animals. Have you seen those large birds they have in this realm, with more leg and neck than body? Most amusing”). 

At their fourth meeting, while Loki and Tony were sniping at each other, Loki entered with the room with a large bag in one hand and a pastry in the other. “I finally found a proper market, with goods made by craftsmen rather than machine. I’ve picked up some toys for the children.”

Tony looked back and forth between the Loki standing across from him, dressed in his usual tunic and tight pants, and the Loki across the room, dressed in slacks and a button-down shirt. “What?”

“Oops.” The Loki in Asgardian gear disappeared and the one in Midgardian clothes shrugged. “That was careless of me. Conversing with you required so little thought that I forgot I was already here.”

“I asked you not to do that,” Thor chided.

“He” Loki nodded at Tony, “needed to be reminded who he was dealing with. It was your idea to be honest. And honestly, seeing me is no guarantee that you know where I am. Even you have learned that.”

“I hate you,” Tony snapped.

“These past few years have been a trying time for me. The foundations of my world were shaken, and then burned. I appreciate your constancy.”

As much as Tony hated working with Loki, he had to admit Loki was a huge source of information. He knew about the Grandmaster, who may or may not be a future threat; Thanos, who Loki and Heimdall insisted was an immediate threat; the Infinity Stones; and various ways of travel that did not require going in a straight line or using an Infinity Stone. “We need to bring the fight to Thanos,” Tony insisted, scrawling equations on a hologram of the solar system. “If we can fight in space, Earth will be spared the worst of it. We do not need another alien invasion.”

“You promised to let the military and NASA handle that,” Pepper said, entering the room. “Tony, these plans won’t work.”

“Of course they’ll work. I ran the numbers.”

“We can’t get the materials.” Pepper showed him the tablet she was carrying. “I looked into some alternatives, but it will affect the strength and flexibility, so you need to re-run the numbers.”

“Huh.” Tony took the tablet. 

Pepper stepped around him and smiled at Thor. “Welcome back, Thor. I’m so sorry for all you have lost.”

“We will rebuild. You have not met my brother yet. This is Loki. Loki, the Lady Pepper. I have told you about her.”

Pepper frowned as Loki stepped forward and took her hand, bowing slightly and touching his lips to the back of it. “You have not. But I look forward to learning.” It was difficult to tell if the statement was intended to be flirtatious or threatening.

Pepper pulled her hand away and took a step back. Loki smirked. 

“This is going to double the cost,” Tony complained, skimming the screen.

“It would be much cheaper the other way, considering we can’t spend money on something that isn’t for sale, but that does hurt productivity.”

“Yeah.” Tony looked up and grimaced. “Sorry Thor, work calls. But hey, Pep’s good at this stuff. Pepper, you can teach them what they need to know about dealing with the government, right?”

“I have work to do, Tony.”

Tony waved a hand. “You can handle it. Just give them a crash course in not pissing everyone off, and we’ll hire a PR manager later. Friday, we need to crunch some numbers.” He walked out of the room, still focused on the tablet.

Pepper closed her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, then opened her eyes and smiled at Thor. “How much do you know about public relations and managing your image?”

Thor shook his head. “Loki can send his image across the miles, but I have never learned the trick of it.”

“Right. We’ll start with the vocabulary lesson.”

Pepper worked with them for two weeks. She realized quickly that Loki responded well to the same techniques that worked on Tony. Fortunately, Tony was busy in the lab, so neither he nor Loki noticed how similarly she treated them. They went over maps of Earth, different types of government, major religions, a rough overview of history and grudges going back centuries, current events, and the personalities of world leaders and the representatives they had chosen to meet with the Asgardians. Both Loki and Thor had good memories, although they were less than impressed by a lot of what they learned, and had a tendency to offer solutions and their aid in carrying out those solutions. They also struggled to understand why people worried that Earth could not support the refugees. 

“You have plentiful resources, you just need to distribute them better,” Thor pointed out to Pepper after a meeting where a number of politicians had insisted Earth could not afford to let the aliens stay.

“Please do not suggest redistributing wealth. They’re worried enough about you starting a revolution as it is.” 

Thor wrinkled his forehead in confusion. “Your country was founded on revolution.”

“Yes.”

“You reject the idea of a rightful ruler and instead choose one based on...popularity?”

“Merit,” Pepper corrected, “idealistically.”

“The heroes of your stories disobey authority to do what they know is right.”

“Very often.”

“And your government is distrustful of us because of our role in the rebellion on Sakaar, and Loki overthrowing Odin, the rightful king of Asgard?”

“We also overthrew our sister, who technically was the rightful queen,” Loki added.

“That’s correct,” Pepper said.

The two brothers looked at each other. “Why must we learn their history, when they do not know it themselves?” Loki demanded. 

“It is one thing to idealize a revolutionary that has been dead for 200 years, or never existed at all,” Pepper explained. “It’s completely different to invite someone who has proven they can and will overthrow a government to come in and make themselves at home. Particularly when they have an army at their back and helpful suggestions for improving things. People in power don’t like upsetting the status quo. We need to convince them that you aren’t a threat.”

“I am only a threat to those who would harm my people,” Thor insisted. “Those who would, I will slay mercilessly.”

“Please never say that to anyone else on this planet.”

Loki’s suggestion that he take Thor’s shape and handle all public appearances and political meetings himself was shot down. Pepper agreed that Loki was better at playing people, but he made it too obvious that he looked down on Midgardians. “You can’t afford to be abrasive and clever.”

“We can’t afford not to be clever.”

“Your brand of clever you can. Telling everyone that you are so much smarter than them, better than them? You’ll never win them over.”

“That was already decided.”

Pepper was not interested in reassuring Loki that he could have a place here, but if she was going to be his teacher than he was _not_ going to make her look bad. She showed them clips of Tony giving interviews and speeches, and being ambushed by paparazzi. He was rude with a smile, openly insulting while making people laugh, and only brutal when someone had clearly crossed a line. “Tony has donated billions of dollars, employs thousands of people, and has literally saved lives, and he still gets dragged through the mud. Sometimes he deserves it. But people know him. He’s been in the limelight his whole life. He has a reputation. Being an ass may not make people like him, but it sells. It’s a performance. Everyone knows it. They expect it, they want it. You,” she pointed at Loki, “do not have that. You tried to conquer our planet. People died. And you are crueler than Tony. When you insult the obnoxious reporter, people won’t laugh it off. They’ll see the murderer, the would-be tyrant. And it will reflect on the rest of your people, and on Thor.”

“We can handle it,” Thor said. “You cannot ask Loki to be something he is not.”

“The shapeshifting master of illusion?” Pepper rolled her eyes. “No, of course not.”

“I am true to myself,” Loki said, “whatever that means at any given moment.”

Pepper sighed, but Thor nodded as if that made sense. “We would not ask anything more.”

“I will,” Pepper countered. “Loki, you don’t have to pretend to be nice. That would be a hard sell anyway. You just need to tone it down and let Thor take the lead. Not too much, though. We don’t want people thinking you’re the puppet master lurking in the shadows.”

“No, it will not do for them to realize that,” Loki agreed. 

Pepper treated remarks like that from Loki the same way she treated them from Tony. She ignored them. “You’re attractive, intelligent, well-dressed, and larger than life.” Loki bowed slightly at the compliments. “We can work the reformed villain angle, trying to be good but still bad enough to be exciting. That means a little rude and insulting, but not in a way that leaves people trying to figure out what you just said while you saunter away. You can call people stupid, but you can’t make them feel stupid. Or threatened. Add a little charm and a hell of a lot of loyalty to Thor and your people, and we might be able to swing this.”

Thor rubbed at his hair, looking at Loki doubtfully. “Perhaps this is not the best idea.”

“It’s court, Thor,” Loki reassured him. “Diplomacy and politics. I just need to remember that I am playing against novices, and want them to think they are winning.” He grinned, eyes bright in a way that was still strange for Thor to see after the past few years. “Perhaps some small tricks, the way I amuse the children? It will not take much to impress the Midgardians, and illusions that vanish at a touch should be sufficiently non-threatening.” 

“That’s good,” Pepper agreed. “Harmless magic. And no knives. You do not threaten people. You do not hurt people.”

“You do not turn people into large birds,” Thor added. Loki pretended not to hear him.

It was after their eighth meeting that Tony finally reappeared, black grease smeared on his hands and slightly jittery from too much coffee. “Got it all worked out and sent to development,” he announced. He kissed Pepper on the cheek. “You kids have fun?”

“Thor is much easier to manage than you are. Loki is...Loki. Tony, please,” she swatted the arm he was trying to put around her and stepped away. “I have a meeting in half an hour and do not have time to change if you get grease all over me.”

“Cancel it,” Tony said, flopping onto the couch. “I haven’t seen you in a week.”

“You can take me to dinner tonight.”

Tony wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like that wording. ‘Take you to dinner’. First evening together in a week, and you want to spend it in public?” He pointed an accusing finger at her. “There’s a thing, isn’t there?”

“Opening of a new restaurant. We’re on the guest list.”

“What are you doing?” Loki interjected. He stepped forward, looking between them. “Are you courting?” He sounded horrified, and Thor snickered.

“We’re engaged. What’s wrong, you still think girls have cooties?”

Ignoring Tony, Loki turned towards Pepper. “Why? Is it a political marriage? Is your family in danger and this is the sacrifice you must make to save them?”

“I love him.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I see no trace of enchantment on you, and your wits are not addled.”

“Hey!” Tony objected.

Loki glanced at him, sized him up quickly, and turned back to Pepper. “Asgard needs a queen.”

“Loki!”

“What?”

“Wait, what?”

“Thor has a fondness for women smarter than he, which is fortunate for Asgard’s future, provided he does not fall prey to one with nefarious intent.”

“I know you can talk like an ordinary person.”

“Hush, Tony,” Pepper said, “I want to hear this.”

“There are none among the Asgardians whom he favors. A marriage to a Midgardian would appeal to the public’s romantic sentiments, ‘humanizing’ him and showing a willingness to truly be a part of your realm, as well as dispelling concerns that we see your people as inferior, and making it more difficult for your leaders to mistreat and silence us. You would be given a status befitting your intelligence, skills, and beauty, and have the political power to bring about the change you long to give your realm. You will also be given access to Asgardian and Sakaarian technology.”

“I can make my own proposals, Loki!”

“You are not proposing to Pepper!” Tony shouted.

“Of course not, I only meant, if I were...” Thor shook his head. “Loki, you do not want a Midgardian as queen.”

“No, but I also do not wish to see one of the few worthy Midgardians I have met shackle herself to that.” He gestured at Tony, who gestured back rudely.

“Enough.” Pepper glared at Tony, who dropped his hand. “Loki, thank you for the compliment, but I’m going to decline. I love Tony, and I want to marry him. I don’t want to be a queen, and, no offense Thor, but I really don’t want to marry you.”

“I suppose I cannot fault you for that,” Loki agreed. “He snores, and after a match or two, he is able to win all other bouts through his stench alone. Forgivable, except he will go to the feast directly, instead of by way of the bathing chamber.”

“That was one time, and only because I was running late.” Thor’s lips quirked up. “Mother assured me later that no one minded waiting.”

“You didn’t shower before we got shwarma. I remember, it was bad.”

“We all stank!”

Pepper raised her voice slightly to be heard over Tony and Thor, but did not otherwise acknowledge their squabble. “That was a very nicely done, though. If you can behave like that in front of the press, we might be able to pull this off.” She frowned at his grin. “Limited exposure, and you need a handler.”

“I will...” Thor started to volunteer.

“No. You’ll have your hands full as it is. Managing Loki’s public appearances will be a full-time job.”

Bowing, Loki answered, “I cannot wait to meet who you appoint to the position.”

Tony had some advice as well. “I recommend someone who likes ostriches. Just in case.”

Pepper stepped forward. “Thank you, Loki, for the compliment.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s nice to be appreciated. Tony, our reservation is at 7:30. It’s a formal event.” 

“I appreciate you!” Tony called out as she left the room. He glared at Loki. “I can’t believe you got me in trouble.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. Thor, if we are to have more official appearances, we need to do something about your wardrobe.”

“Nah.” Tony pushed himself to his feet. “Work the casual look. T’Challa’s going to be the classiest king on the planet no matter what, so you may as well be approachable.” He pointed at Loki. “I notice you didn’t offer to marry Pepper.”

“Of course not,” Loki said. “I can only offer myself, and a queen must have a people, to rule and protect.” 

Thor rested a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “I think you are worthy, of Lady Pepper or anyone else you choose to court.”

Loki patted Thor’s hand. “Thank you brother.”

“I don’t think anyone deserves you,” Tony said.

“Lady Pepper can do better than you.”

Tony grinned. “But she’s marrying me anyway.” He turned and headed out the door, calling behind him, “I’m going to shower and take my fiancé out to dinner. You crazy kids try not to break anything while I’m gone.”

Once the two brothers were alone, Thor slumped, rubbing a hand over his short hair. “I do not want to do this,” he confessed.

“We have faced worse. Be earnest and sincere. They will love you. I will be the wicked brother and take care of any scheming that needs to be done.” Loki grinned. “That way they will never suspect you.”

Thor shook his head ruefully. “We have spent over a thousand years as princes, emissaries from Asgard, leading warriors into battle, and they think we do not know how to convince people to trust and follow us?”

“It is the best joke I have heard in ages,” Loki said. “Come, we have a meeting with some of their military. Let’s pretend not to understand how our weapons work.”

Thor chuckled and draped an arm around Loki’s shoulder. “I was going to ask how many dragons they have each slain.”

Loki laughed and the two headed back to their ship, and the soon-to-be exasperated generals waiting at the Pentagon.

END


End file.
